Winter 2020/21 - Light in The Darkness

 

So I can't quite believe that we've got to January 2021 already! 

I'm not quite sure where 2020 has gone. Amongst the chaos of the pandemic and all the changes it brought it flew by, the last part of last year certainly went very quickly and I had the honour of conducting my first of many funeral services. 

And Interestingly as sad as they were I've really enjoyed doing this work. I was discussing this with to a lovely lady called Rosie who became my mentor, a colleague I suppose, who also does weddings and funerals and we were saying how like a wedding a funeral is in the sense of holding a safe sacred space for people during something so important in their life. The difference being that at a wedding ceremony, most of it is happy but there's usually a little sadness that someone special is missing, a parent or beloved grandparent  and with a funeral it's obviously sad, but  there are still smiles and a sense of joy - perhaps relief that they're not suffering anymore or the knowledge that they finally reunited with loved ones. That may sound odd but the sense in the room is very similar - the sense of ritual, importance and love.

Most funerals include beautiful memories and often laughter, which which I always find really uplifting. In fact writing the eulogies  is absolutely my favourite part. Initially I thought it was something that I would have to steel myself to sit down to do, but it has become a wonderful part of my work. Because of Covid, I have had to meet the family via phone or zoom instead of in person. Practically every time the family have sent me a photo through of their loved one - usually the photos that are going in the order of service, which is wonderful because I  get a feel for that person and I really helps to feel that I am in some way connected to them and working with them whilst I write their eulogy, which helps to really tell their story and I love to include their phrases and their sayings. This also feels that I'm telling their story and it is in some ways their last words to their friends and family - a huge responsibility but a wonderful privilege at the same time.

Eulogy writing has also uncovered some wonderful memories and snippets of information. I had a beautiful experience  very early on, when I conducted a funeral for a dear friend's Great Aunt. She had lived locally and family knowledge was that she had worked at a local tea shop and whilst she had been employed there, Guy Gibson of Dambusters fame had had stayed there. The name of the tea shop was long forgotten,  and  I couldn't find out on the internet what it was called, but it just felt important to find out to complete her story. I managed to get in touch with a local historian,  a lovely man called Chris, who when I phoned him was actually taking his mum for a 'walk' around the garden in in her wheelchair and she was quite delighted to have been left sitting in the sun by the pond and enjoy the experience while her son trotted off to look at his books to look it up for me! He managed to discover that it was called Old Tiles Tea House and he hadn't known that the legendary Guy Gibson had stayed at this particular place, so that has now gone down in the annals of history for him and the local history group too!

Of course my work is incredibly sad too, but moments like this, make it worth while and help to make every eulogy and service individual and unique, which was something that was important to me from the very start. I've still got a lot to learn - but I am really enjoying the journey so far.

Until Next Time....